Category Archives: Movies

June 10, 2020 · 1:19 pm

The Set of 400: #61 – My Favorite George Washington Anecdote

Today! Because nothing will make an Englishman shit quicker than the sight of George Washington –

Lincoln (2012)

Directed by Steven Spielberg (x10)

Starring Daniel Day-Lewis (x3), Sally Field (x2), Tommy Lee Jones (x5), David Strathairn (x4), James Spader, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (x2), Hal Holbrook, John Hawkes, Bruce McGill (x2), Tim Blake Nelson (x2), Jackie Earle Haley (x4), Jared Harris, Lee Pace (x2), Peter McRobbie (x3), Michael Stuhlbarg (x2), Gloria Reuben, Walton Goggins (x3), David Oyelowo (x2), Lukas Haas (x2), Dane DeHaan, Bill Camp, Wayne Duvall (x2), Gregory Itzin (x2), Adam Driver (x2), Christopher Evan Welch (x2), S. Epatha Merkerson (x2), Joseph Cross, Boris McGiver

My favorite movie from one of my favorite years, 2012’s Lincoln almost starred Liam Neeson. Wrap your mind around that for a second. For years there were stories about Spielberg trying to mount this epic Abe biopic, with his Schindler’s List star attached, and I always figured that could work. Neeson has that magisterial presence, and what more would you really need to play Lincoln? But now that we’ve seen the greatest living actor in the role, it’s pretty tough to imagine anyone else in the part. Never mind Neeson’s very recent (as of this writing) issues concerning some racist tendencies from his youth (Has this story blown over? Be sure to go look it up), which would’ve made him donning the big stovepipe a bit awkward.

If you know nothing else about me except my 340 favorite movies so far, it’s probably about time I share that I’ve got a thing for U.S. Commanders in Chief. I’m no presidential scholar – I’m too busy watching movies to dedicate the time required – but the wife and I are committed to visiting every president grave site in the country, along with their adjoining museums/libraries/road side monuments if they exist. Lincoln’s Springfield tomb was one of the few we visited before officially starting on this quest, his being the third president grave we saw, following JFK and Taft in Arlington, VA.

It’s pretty grand and glorious in Springfield, IL

Plus it has an equally classy gift shop – the wife seen here

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June 9, 2020 · 1:09 pm

The Set of 400: #62 – My Favorite Dead-End Alley Parade

Today! Because as of this moment, they’re on double secret probation –

National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978)

Directed by John Landis (x4)

Starring Tim Matheson (x2), Peter Riegert, John Belushi (x3), Tom Hulce (x2), Stephen Furst (x2), Mark Metcalf, John Vernon, Martha Smith, Karen Allen (x4), Bruce McGill, Donald Sutherland (x6), Verna Bloom, Mary Louise Weller, James Daughton, Doug Kenney, James Widdoes, Sarah Holcomb, Otis Day, Kevin Bacon (x5)

I think I liked the idea of Animal House more than the movie for a long time. Figure, I first saw this as a fairly young kid, and – as has been the case with many comedies of that time and before – I saw the severely edited television version almost exclusively for years. So while I loved the early Saturday Night Live from a pretty young age, I didn’t really get the appeal of Animal House. Come on, even edited to death it doesn’t have much resonance with a very young crowd, let’s face it. I was still watching lots of Police Academy and Look Who’s Talking – kid’s comedies masquerading as adult comedies. Animal House can’t possibly connect until you’re at least approaching high school, right?

Nonetheless, one of the first cassette tapes I remember owning was the Animal House soundtrack, which is a bunch of ’50s and ’60s songs plus that wacky “Animal House” theme, and I listened to it constantly. Sam Cooke’s “What a Wonderful World,” Paul and Paula, “Shama Lama Ding Dong” – I don’t know, even as a kid I was into old music, I guess. Why I would’ve gotten it in the first place, though, I can’t say, because again, it’s not like I watched the movie all that much. The same goes for The Blues Brothers – for the longest time, I considered myself a fan, and would’ve said so to my dumb grade school pals, but I didn’t actually see the film that often.

Hell yeah, cassette-heads!

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June 8, 2020 · 1:21 pm

The Set of 400: #63 – My Favorite Tiny Pension and a Cheap Gold Watch

Today! Because poor people are crazy, Jack. I’m eccentric –

Speed (1994)

Directed by Jan de Bont (x2)

Starring Keanu Reeves (x3), Sandra Bullock (x2), Dennis Hopper, Jeff Daniels (x2), Joe Morton (x2), Alan Ruck (x3), Richard Lineback, Glenn Plummer, Beth Grant, Hawthorne James, Carlos Carrasco (x2), Patrick Fischler, Richard Schiff, Veronica Cartwright

Our second and final Jan de Bont directorial effort (sorry, Tomb Raider 2 fans!), Speed is the greatest pure adrenaline film of the ’90s, putting it squarely in the conversation for Best Action Film of All Time. I’ve got one actioner from the decade still to come, but I’d probably give Speed the nod in terms of quality, and it definitely holds the edge in evaluating its sheer awesomeness. What’s more awesome than Speed, I ask you? Not much! None of its three big sequences – elevator, bus, subway – disappoint, you’ve got Dennis Hopper’s career villain highlight (okay, except Blue Velvet), you’ve got vintage Keanu Reeves not required to do a ton of talking, and you’ve got that goofy, illogical jump across the stretch of missing highway that should’ve broken the reality of the film into pieces right then and there, and yet somehow it’s the most exciting thing ever.

I mean, come on!

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June 5, 2020 · 1:12 pm

The Set of 400: #64 – My Favorite Hole Punched in the Moon

Today! Because we are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff –

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

Directed by Edgar Wright

Starring Michael Cera (x2), Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jason Schwartzman (x5), Kieran Culkin, Ellen Wong, Anna Kendrick, Brie Larson, Chris Evans (x2), Brandon Routh, Alison Pill (x2), Aubrey Plaza (x2), Johnny Simmons, Mark Webber, Satya Bhabha, Mae Whitman (x2), Thomas Jane (x3)

When I first saw Scott Pilgrim, I thought it was plenty funny but was just a little turned off by how adorably in love with itself it was. I had never read the comics, so I had nothing much to go on except Edgar Wright’s name and the solid big cast of funny folks, but it left me a little hollow. The video-game-ness of the whole thing was kinda distracting, and while there were tons of cool visuals, it didn’t seem to amount to much. I kind of enjoyed it, but pretty much wrote it off.

But then – like Blue Chips, Idiocracy, and Soapdish before it – I caught bits of it on TV all the time, which was quickly followed by watching it straight through to the end any time I ran across it, followed by talking it up to anyone who would listen. Somehow, once the plot machinations were no longer new, I could focus on the details that I had such a problem with before, and see what they added to the overall. And I found that the little touches didn’t bother me anymore – I still think them a bit much here and there, but all in all the whole thing works. The coins and the battle of the bands and punching the color out of Knives’ hair and the vegan powers and even the extra life – it all fits together pretty great.

Matthew Patel!

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June 4, 2020 · 1:05 pm

The Set of 400: #65 – My Favorite Heyyyyyy-Batter-Batter-Batter-Batter

Today! Because they think he’s a righteous dude –

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

Directed by John Hughes (x2)

Starring Matthew Broderick (x3), Alan Ruck (x2), Mia Sara, Jeffrey Jones (x4), Jennifer Grey, Lyman Ward, Cindy Pickett, Edie McClurg (x3), Ben Stein (x3), Charlie Sheen (x3), Del Close (x2), Kristy Swanson (x2), Richard Edson (x2), Louie Anderson, Jonathan Schmock

Before moving here, if you’d asked me what movie is most associated with Chicago, I might’ve said The Blues Brothers. Maybe The Untouchables, given people’s endless fascination with the town’s mob history from eighty years ago. But having lived here for over a decade now, I can tell you hands down what’s considered the most Chicago-y movie of all time, by visitors and residents alike, is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. I know this should’ve been obvious – it’s basically a non-stop travel video for the greatest city on Lake Michigan – but I guess I didn’t think it had a universal appeal to audiences of all ages. Or maybe it’s just that the movie is old enough now that its become a beloved classic, and thus can be enjoyed by all demographics. Either way, there are yearly celebrations and special anniversary events about this movie – last year they recreated Ferris’s bedroom in…a hotel downtown, I want to say? Googling…

The Virgin Hotel, summer of 2018! Oddly, I find this has been done a number of times in various cities, but still

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June 3, 2020 · 1:10 pm

The Set of 400: #66 – My Favorite Rolling Gong

Today! Because I always thought that archaeologists were always funny looking men going around looking for their mommies –

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

Directed by Steven Spielberg (x9)

Starring Harrison Ford (x6), Kate Capshaw, Jonathan Ke Quan (x2), Amrish Puri, Roy Chiao (x2), David Yip, Roshan Seth, Philip Stone (x2), Dan Aykroyd (x6)

Yes, one of the more surprising reveals to me about my own preferences is that now I’m apparently that guy who likes Temple of Doom more than Last Crusade. I highly doubt this will last, as this ranking has been nothing if not hyper-fluid over the years, but however temporarily I’m taking the oddball non-Nazi Indiana Jones flick as my (spoiler alert) second favorite.

And I think Temple of Doom genuinely gets a bad rap. Why? Because Kate Capshaw’s Willie is a pain in the ass? She’s pretty funny, and manages to hold her own in the later action sequences. What, because Indy is forced to pal around with a kid? Say what you will, but Jonathan Ke Quan was one of the great kid actors of the day, between this and Goonies, and they certainly could’ve done worse for a way younger sidekick (and did, with LeBeouf in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull). Maybe it’s a dumb choice, but the group makes for a pretty fun team on this outlandish Indian adventure.

I don’t care what you say, Short Round is great

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June 2, 2020 · 1:15 pm

The Set of 400: #67 – My Favorite Fragrance of Love Scented Candle, Bitch

Today! Because I can’t feel my legs. I HAVE NO LEGS!

Can’t Hardly Wait (1998)

Directed by Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan

Starring Ethan Embry, Lauren Ambrose, Charlie Korsmo (x3), Jennifer Love Hewitt, Peter Facinelli, Seth Green, Jenna Elfman, Freddy Rodriguez, Sean Patrick Thomas, Breckin Meyer (x2), Donald Faison, Melissa Joan Hart, Jerry O’Connell, Channon Roe, Joel Michaely, Jay Paulson, Jaime Pressly (x2), Tamala Jones, Jennifer Lyons, Chris Owen (x2), Jason Segel (x2), Clea DuVall (x3), Eric Balfour, Selma Blair, Sara Rue (x2), Reni Santoni, Alec Ledd, Erik Palladino, Alexander Martin

I’m not sure if people realize what a mind-blowingly great movie Can’t Hardly Wait truly is. Seriously, I think this just gets lumped in with the other nonsense high school comedies of the time – your She’s All Thats and American Pies and Never Been Kisseds – or worse yet, the non-John Hughes shit teen comedies of the ’80s – and summarily forgotten. There is no greater crime in cinema history than the degree to which Can’t Hardly Wait is overlooked!

Agreed!

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June 1, 2020 · 1:08 pm

The Set of 400: #68 – My Favorite New Year’s Eve Party

Today! Because the murderer is right in this room. Sitting at this table. You may serve the fish –

The Thin Man (1934)

Directed by W.S. Van Dyke (x2)

Starring William Powell (x3), Myrna Loy (x2), Maureen O’Sullivan (x3), Porter Hall (x3), Minna Gombell, Harold Huber, Cesar Romero, Natalie Moorhead, Nat Pendleton, Henry Wadsworth, William Henry, Edward Brophy, Edward Ellis

Dashiell Hammett’s hard drinking detective and wife pair Nick and Nora Charles first gloriously came to life in this 1934 classic, altering a few keys elements from the book in terms of character and tone, but maintaining the twisty, red-herring filled plot about the search for Clyde Wynant, a.k.a. The Thin Man. And yes, it’s weird that all the sequels still used “The Thin Man” in the title, as though Nick Charles was on a perennial diet, when Wynant only appears in the first film. But hey, they needed that name recognition! If they knew what a hit they’d have on their hands, undoubtedly this would’ve been called Nick and Nora or Mr. and Mrs. Charles or Asta, the Wonder Dog.

Forever the MVP, and a frequent crossword puzzle answer!

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May 29, 2020 · 1:07 pm

The Set of 400: #69 – My Favorite Half-Faced Sunburn

Today! Because I know this sounds crazy, but ever since yesterday on the road, I’ve been seeing this shape –

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)

Directed by Steven Spielberg (x8)

Starring Richard Dreyfuss (x2), Melinda Dillon (x4), Teri Garr (x2), Bob Balaban (x3), Francois Truffaut (x2), Roberts Blossom (x3), Cary Guffey, J. Patrick McNamara, Warren J. Kemmerling, Philip Dodds, Lance Henriksen (x3), George DiCenzo

This movie was way too boring for us as kids. Like, I knew it existed, and from seeing the tape cover at the video store I knew there were aliens in it eventually, but whenever I caught a few minutes on TV it was always Richard Dreyfuss doing crazy shit in his house and a bunch of lab coat types in foreign crowds with loud music and singing and none of it made any sense. I don’t know for sure when I finally sat and watched the whole thing, but I want to say it was at least high school or later. Having grown up on alien adventure flicks, nothing about Close Encounters interested me for a long, long time.

Roy was just a little too looney tunes for us kids

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May 28, 2020 · 1:07 pm

The Set of 400: #70 – My Favorite Horse Punch

Today! Because I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille –

Blazing Saddles (1974)

Directed by Mel Brooks (x5)

Starring Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder (x3), Harvey Korman (x3), Madeline Kahn (x6), Mel Brooks (x5), Slim Pickens (x2), Alex Karras, David Huddleston (x2), Dom DeLuise (x6), Burton Gilliam, John Hillerman (x2), Jack Starrett, Carol Arthur, Liam Dunn, Robyn Hilton, Count Basie, Robert Ridgely (x5), Charles McGregor

When people say “They wouldn’t make a movie like this today,” I find that they are normally talking about major studio output. Oh, they’d need a bigger star, they wouldn’t tackle this topic, it doesn’t have blockbuster potential. But in reality, someone somewhere would probably still make whatever movie they’re talking about, if they were able. Quality trumps a lot of financial obstacles, for just the right producer. All that being said, no one anywhere would make Blazing Saddles today.

It’s still funny, ballsy, and wonderful, but I can’t think of a movie aging more uncomfortably than this film. Case in point – you might watch this in your house and think “Oh, some of these jokes are a little rough, but overall it comes out okay.” However, a few years ago I saw this movie in a fairly crowded theater, and no one knew how to react. Was laughing at this wrong? But then why were we all there? It’s not an inherently racist movie, but my God, it goes to some dicey lengths. Richard Pryor’s work on the screenplay is pretty evident, but even at the time the studio was uneasy enough to vote against him also playing Sheriff Bart.

Cleavon Little does make a terrific Bart, though

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May 27, 2020 · 1:12 pm

The Set of 400: #71 – My Favorite Misattributed Charlemagne

Today! Because we are on the verge of completing a quest that began almost two thousand years ago –

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

Directed by Steven Spielberg (x7)

Starring Harrison Ford (x5), Sean Connery (x7), John Rhys-Davies (x3), Denholm Elliott (x2), Alison Doody, Julian Glover, Michael Byrne, River Phoenix (x2), Robert Eddison, Richard Young

In putting this list together in the summer of 2018, I needed to rewatch 60 or 70 films, mainly as it had been a while since I’d seen, say, Switch and The Dream Team. I remembered liking them, but how much did I still like them? And some movies straight missed out due to this rewatching – Lost Horizon, The Secret of NIMH, and Falling Down are not what 12-year-old Joe would’ve had me believe! One thing I didn’t think I would need to rewatch was Last Crusade, as I’d seen this movie a billion times, even if it had been a few years. But I just happened to catch it on TV around this time, and was surprised to find that (as of fall 2017) one of my top 20 films struck me quite differently than expected.

Now, I’d not seen Temple of Doom in a while either, and ended up watching them back-to-back. That may have hurt Last Crusade? Not because Temple of Doom is way better – I genuinely believe it is not – but that Last Crusade feels shockingly tired when viewed immediately after the Raiders’ prequel. It’s still largely what you remember – fun action pieces and terrifically funny scenes between Indy and his dad – but there’s also a lot of lame dialogue and pointless interluding that feel unnecessarily thrown in. I liked the River Phoenix flashback opener, but it feels gimmicky. And Indy meets Hitler?! Come on, have you always been okay with that choice?

“Nuking the Fridge” became a phrase, but it clearly should’ve been “Getting Hitler’s Autograph”

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May 26, 2020 · 1:11 pm

The Set of 400: #72 – My Favorite Movie Theater Inferno

Today! Because if I don’t pick up this phone right here, you may very well get all four, and if you get all four, you’ll end the war – tonight –

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Directed by Quentin Tarantino (x4)

Starring Brad Pitt (x3), Melanie Laurent, Christoph Waltz (x2), Eli Roth, Michael Fassbender (x2), Diane Kruger, Daniel Bruhl (x2), B.J. Novak, Mike Myers (x2), Til Schweiger, Gedeon Burkhard, Jacky Ido, Omar Doom, Denis Menochet, Julie Dreyfus, Martin Wuttke, Lea Seydoux (x3), Samuel L. Jackson (x9)

Every Tarantino movie is an event, but Inglourious Basterds was something special. It was his first full length movie in five years – skipping the whole gimmicky Grindhouse thing, which was fine. I mean, come on, you don’t count Four Rooms when jumping from Pulp Fiction to Jackie Brown, do you? Of course not! So it had been since the second part of Kill Bill in 2004 – the rare Tarantino film that didn’t make this list – and this one was coming in a summer. How weird was that? Figure, Quentin hadn’t had a film with serious awards attention since ’94, so to take this movie out of the season for statues and drop it into August – that had to be something else, right? And man, it was.

Was it ever

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May 25, 2020 · 1:10 pm

The Set of 400: #73 – My Favorite Bicycle Joust

Today! Because if it were our plane, it would be crashing –

Quick Change (1990)

Directed by Bill Murray and Howard Franklin

Starring Bill Murray (x8), Geena Davis (x3), Randy Quaid (x4), Jason Robards (x3), Phil Hartman (x2), Tony Shalhoub (x3), Philip Bosco (x3), Bob Elliott, Jack Gilpin, Reg E. Cathey, Jamey Sheridan, Kurtwood Smith (x2), Kathryn Grody, Stanley Tucci (x2), Victor Argo

If there was one Bill Murray movie that could be described as criminally underseen (for quality and also pun reasons) it would be Quick Change (with the possible exception of Nothing Lasts Forever). It wasn’t a big hit in its day – marketing issues, maybe? – but did land on cable repeatedly in that sweet spot period for me in the early ’90s, thus I began a long affection for this sorta dark, sorta zany bank robbery comedy. Because it has been a minor part of my life for so long, I have a random array of stories connected to it, so bear with me for a bit.

But first, hunt up Nothing Lasts Forever – it’s bananas

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May 22, 2020 · 1:10 pm

The Set of 400: #74 – My Favorite Roulette Wager on 22

Today! Because there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn’t advise you to try to invade –

Casablanca (1942)

Directed Michael Curtiz (x2)

Starring Humphrey Bogart (x3), Ingrid Bergman (x4), Claude Rains (x2), Paul Henreid, Sydney Greenstreet (x2), Peter Lorre (x3), Conrad Veidt, Madeleine LeBeau, Dooley Wilson, S.Z. Sakall, Leonid Kinskey, John Qualen (x2)

Okay, okay, I can hear what you’re thinking:

“Oh, Casablanca? Like the greatest movie ever made is on this guy’s list? Oh, edgy choice, Joe. Way to go. Who’s in your top 100 favorite bands? Let me guess, The Beatles? Great work. Why the hell do I keep reading this thing?”

“What new is he gonna say about Casablanca? Oh, wait, I’ve got it – that the songs are great. That seems like the fun new spin he’ll throw on this. I mean, he put Evita on here, so clearly he focuses way too much on music. Maybe he’ll tell us what a great movie star Humphrey Bogart was. Maybe he’ll quote that whole final scene on the tarmac. Maybe he’ll just drown us in 500 words about Louie kicking that Vichy bottle. My goodness – Casablanca! What an asshole!”

Total doofus

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May 21, 2020 · 1:12 pm

The Set of 400: #75 – My Favorite Bathroom Tiger

Today! Because I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust –

The Hangover (2009)

Directed by Todd Phillips (x3)

Starring Bradley Cooper (x2), Ed Helms (x4), Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Heather Graham (x3), Ken Jeong (x2), Mike Tyson, Rachael Harris (x2), Sasha Barrese, Jeffrey Tambor (x2), Mike Epps, Bryan Callen (x3), Rob Riggle, Cleo King (x2), Matt Walsh (x7), Jernard Burks

So again, as mentioned somewhere earlier, I’m not saying we got married at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas because of The Hangover – that’s completely insane – however, we never looked at their wedding facilities in person, booking thanks to YouTube videos of the gardens and whatnot. This was after we made a trip to Vegas expressly to check out venues. So either this should tell you how lackluster the matrimonial facilities are at the MGM Grand, Mandalay Bay, and the Bellagio (among others – we looked at a load of places), or that maybe we were more influenced by the epic search for Doug than we care to admit.

Not that Doug! The other Doug!

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