Tag Archives: Jackie Earle Haley

The Set of 400: #239 – My Favorite Mars Sojourn

Today! Because none of you seem to understand. I’m not locked in here with you, you’re locked in here with me!

Watchmen (2009)

Directed by Zack Snyder

Starring Jackie Earle Haley (x2), Patrick Wilson, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode (x2), Malin Akerman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Carla Gugino, Matt Frewer, Stephen McHattie, Laura Mennell, Robert Wisden, John Shaw, Danny Woodburn, Rob LaBelle

This movie did not work for everybody. Hell, if it had, they wouldn’t have remade it for TV within a decade (Has that come out yet? Is it any good? It can’t be, right?). But it did have a lot of built-in problems right from the get-go. Sure, the graphic novel is an unquestioned masterpiece, but when reading it, how exactly it could play out in under three hours doesn’t present itself. So massive edits were necessary, some good some bad, plus a wholesale revision to the story’s climax. The ending remains more or less the same, but for some reason people really like that giant goddamn squid. Also – and this cannot be stressed enough – this movie had to overcome the whims and instincts of director Snyder, who at the time had only made Dawn of the Dead in 2004 (which I’m sure is great, but haven’t seen) and 300 (which should’ve probably tipped us off that this wasn’t our guy to handle this or any comic book story).

Seriously, how was this movie a hit?

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The Set of 400: #284 – My Favorite Air Hockey Beatdown

Today! Because we lost 18 to nothing, Buttercrud, and the Athletics are the worst team in the league –

The Bad News Bears (1976)

Directed by Michael Ritchie

Starring Walter Matthau (x2), Tatum O’Neal, Jackie Earle Haley, Vic Morrow (x2), Joyce Van Patten, Ben Piazza, Chris Barnes, Shari Summers (x2), George Wyner (x2)

One of the best cinematic representations of what monstrous little shits children can be, The Bad News Bears nonetheless features a fun-loving group of disparate races, religions, sexes, and general personalities, often at odds across the baseball diamond or in their own dugout, periodically hurling racist and sexist slurs at each other. And, I don’t know, little kids cursing and spouting off like Republicans at white power marches just strikes me as really funny.

That’s the big takeaway, right? Children are awful?

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