Tag Archives: John McCain

John McCain’s Incredibly Hot Daughter Creates Twitter Uproar with Warhol Photo

meghanmccaintwitterMeghan McCain finds herself embroiled in controversy this morning after posting a picture on popular social networking site Twitter.com yesterday in which she holds an Andy Warhol biography and smiles, clearly implying she enjoys it.  The wildly sexy McCain, contributing writer for the website The Daily Beast, and her choice of literature elicited hundreds of negative comments and vociferous outrage about her choice of reading material.

“WHAT THE -?!” posted Twitter user SirSnarksalot.  “How someone as mind-blowingly attractive as @McCainBlogette could be interested in a pasty no-talent like Warhol is personally offensive!”

twitter_fail_whale“Incredible!” posted McDeetzey. “With a YOWZA body and killer smile like @McCainBlogette has, you think she’d know better!  Warhol was a hack!” Continue reading

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Filed under humor, Internet, News, Politics, Publishing, Reading

The Candidate Interviewed by the Authoring Auctioneer

John Savo, the force of nature responsible for The Authoring Auctioneer, has been a likeable acquaintance of mine for some time, and an unlikeable one even longer.  We grew up together in the mines, unearthing coal in the PA tunnels and owing our souls to the company store like many generations before us.  Somewhere along the way, this guy got blogging and drinking enough to qualify as middle class, and next thing you know he’s spending more time in Olyphant than is recommended for one’s health and calling it a life.  Strange, I know.  Recently, he contacted me with hopes of conducting an interview regarding my rousing campaign for the Presidency in 2016.  After many consultations with my legal team (i.e. my girlfriend and my lunatic upstairs neighbor), I agreed.

: Your day-job involves processing insurance claims.  This is your first qualifiction to be President of these United States.

: Nothing prepares you to sympathize with the plight of the common man like working in medical insurance. I suppose it would be better to be an oil man?  Or a golddigger?  Not that I’m against golddigging – fine sport, really.  But really, besides education, money, real world experience, poise, and a zest for young interns, what do politicians have?  Nothing that you don’t find in your average claims processor.  Let’s not discount the years I spent working in the mall either, slick.  That’s real f*ckin’ life right there. Continue reading

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Filed under Correspondence, humor, Politics, Television

John McCain Claims He Was in Predator, Too

With various polls showing him trailing Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama by a substantial margin, Republican nominee John McCain made a stunning announcement yesterday that he too appeared in the 1987 sci-fi action hit Predator, along side future governors Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger, with hopes that this would convince young voters that he was not only qualified for the Presidency, but also that he was “cool,” “hip,” and “with it.”

“I have been reluctant to share the details of my involvement in the film for many years,” McCain told a surprised crowd at the Colorado Convention Center in Denver.  “This is mostly because filming occurred during my first run for the Senate, and I thought it would reflect badly if the people of Arizona knew I was skipping off to Mexico for weeks at a time to make this action film.  But yes, I too was in Predator.  No one has recognized this all these years because I, in fact, was the Predator.”

"Six hours in the make-up chair, every day."

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Filed under humor, News, Politics