Tag Archives: John McTiernan

The Set of 400: #192 – My Favorite Stallone Terminator Movie

Today! Because I’m the famous comedian Arnold Braunschweiger –

Last Action Hero (1993)

Directed by John McTiernan (x2)

Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Mercedes Ruehl, Charles Dance, F. Murray Abraham (x4), Anthony Quinn, Robert Prosky (x2), Art Carney, Frank McRae, Tom Noonan, Ian McKellen (x3), Joan Plowright, Bridgette Wilson, Tina Turner, Rick Ducommun (x4), Michael V. Gazzo, Colleen Camp (x2), Leeza Gibbons (x3), M.C. Hammer, Little Richard, Maria Shriver, Angie Everhart, Jim Belushi, Chevy Chase (x2), Robert Patrick, Sharon Stone, Jean-Claude Van Damme (x2), Damon Wayans

I would normally start by telling you all to SHUT UP, but seriously, I need some input. This movie was a famous disappointment at the box office in the summer of 1993, and critically didn’t fare much better. It’s the weird resume blip for Schwarzenegger between Terminator 2 and True Lies. But, like, I legitimately love this movie, and simply don’t understand the hatred it seems to bring out in people. Really, why don’t more people like Last Action Hero?

Was it this?

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The Set of 400: #223 – My Favorite Christmas Debate

Today! Because now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho –

Die Hard (1988)

Directed by John McTiernan

Starring Bruce Willis (x2), Alan Rickman (x3), Bonnie Bedelia (x2), Reginald VelJohnson, William Atherton, Hart Bochner, Paul Gleason, De’voreaux White, Alexander Godunov, James Shigeta, Robert Davi, Grand L. Bush, Rick Ducommun (x2), Mary Ellen Trainor (x4)

I’ve got a couple disparate ideas on the first Die Hard, none of which talk too much about how great the movie is, so let’s get that out of the way right off the bat. It’s an almost perfect action movie. It’s got a great villain, great little twists, great continually escalating stakes, some pretty funny moments, and the dad from Family Matters at his peak. As it became the template for so many action movies over the next few decades, I don’t think I need to recount the plot, or really anything else about this movie. Die Hard is a masterpiece.

But as the ways to adapt this concept into other action movies ran out long ago – Die Hard on a plane! Die Hard in space! – isn’t it about time we come all the way around to “Die Hard in a Die Hard!” Hear me out – taking footage from the original as the backbone, we have De’voreaux White’s limo driving Argyle (now played by, I don’t know, Brandon T. Jackson) dealing with an entirely different locked-in terror crisis in the parking garage, while John McClane sorts out the Nakatomi Plaza terrorists above. I know, this would require some retconning of story elements from Die Hard, but hey, it’s better than the “Let’s ignore all the sequels and make a new first sequel” idea that has become so popular. Maybe there’s a Russian drug running scheme from a van on level 3! Maybe there’s a secret under-underground human trafficking operation! And the limo driver is our only shoot-’em-up hope! Okay, this might be dumb. Or, is Argyle Hard so dumb it might be great??

And obviously the bear comes to life as his sidekick

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John McCain Claims He Was in Predator, Too

With various polls showing him trailing Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama by a substantial margin, Republican nominee John McCain made a stunning announcement yesterday that he too appeared in the 1987 sci-fi action hit Predator, along side future governors Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger, with hopes that this would convince young voters that he was not only qualified for the Presidency, but also that he was “cool,” “hip,” and “with it.”

“I have been reluctant to share the details of my involvement in the film for many years,” McCain told a surprised crowd at the Colorado Convention Center in Denver.  “This is mostly because filming occurred during my first run for the Senate, and I thought it would reflect badly if the people of Arizona knew I was skipping off to Mexico for weeks at a time to make this action film.  But yes, I too was in Predator.  No one has recognized this all these years because I, in fact, was the Predator.”

"Six hours in the make-up chair, every day."

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