Tag Archives: American Monarchy

The Candidate Interviewed by the Authoring Auctioneer

John Savo, the force of nature responsible for The Authoring Auctioneer, has been a likeable acquaintance of mine for some time, and an unlikeable one even longer.  We grew up together in the mines, unearthing coal in the PA tunnels and owing our souls to the company store like many generations before us.  Somewhere along the way, this guy got blogging and drinking enough to qualify as middle class, and next thing you know he’s spending more time in Olyphant than is recommended for one’s health and calling it a life.  Strange, I know.  Recently, he contacted me with hopes of conducting an interview regarding my rousing campaign for the Presidency in 2016.  After many consultations with my legal team (i.e. my girlfriend and my lunatic upstairs neighbor), I agreed.

: Your day-job involves processing insurance claims.  This is your first qualifiction to be President of these United States.

: Nothing prepares you to sympathize with the plight of the common man like working in medical insurance. I suppose it would be better to be an oil man?  Or a golddigger?  Not that I’m against golddigging – fine sport, really.  But really, besides education, money, real world experience, poise, and a zest for young interns, what do politicians have?  Nothing that you don’t find in your average claims processor.  Let’s not discount the years I spent working in the mall either, slick.  That’s real f*ckin’ life right there. Continue reading

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