September 12, 2019 · 1:17 pm

The Set of 400: #255 – My Favorite Flaming Wheelchair

Today! Because I am not a man. I began as one, but now I am becoming more than a man –

Red Dragon (2002)

Directed by Brett Ratner

Starring Edward Norton, Ralph Fiennes, Emily Watson (x2), Anthony Hopkins (x3), Harvey Keitel, Mary-Louise Parker, Philip Seymour Hoffman (x3), Anthony Heald, Frankie Faison, Ken Leung, Bill Duke (x2), William Lucking (x3), Frank Whaley (x2), Mary Beth Hurt, Ellen Burstyn

First of all, let me just say SHUT UP. I know the later Hannibal Lecter movies are not exactly beloved by audiences at large. This especially seems to apply to Red Dragon, mainly because of Manhunter, I guess? And okay, I get that – it came out first by quite a bit, and is a solid movie, so if you saw it first and were bitter Brian Cox didn’t get cast in Silence in the Lambs or something, okay. You hang on to that bitterness.

But no one can convince me that Manhunter is actually a better movie. It didn’t have the built in obstacle of needing to overcome a director like Brett Ratner at the helm, I’ll give you that – Michael Mann is by-far the superior filmmaker – but I feel that Red Dragon improves upon the original with every single actor in the film. Again, this isn’t necessarily to slight Manhunter – it’s a fine movie – but this seems to be the main argument against this movie, and I think it is ludicrous beyond words. The only aspect that I might say the original handled better is Lecter himself – because that movie didn’t treat him like he was somehow the star. The Red Dragon story has very little to do with Lecter, and when the original was released – five years before Silence – no one would’ve been clamoring for it be about him. This movie, of course, was concocted as a way to keep making Anthony Hopkins/Hannibal films, giving it that lingering cash-grab feel that people couldn’t shake.

On the other hand, Manhunter did go with this choice

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September 11, 2019 · 1:20 pm

The Set of 400: #256 – My Favorite Multipass

Today! Because I don’t want one position, I want all positions!

The Fifth Element (1997)

Directed by Luc Besson

Starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, Gary Oldman (x3), Chris Tucker, Ian Holm (x2), Luke Perry, Tiny Lister, Brion James, Lee Evans, John Neville, Charlie Creed-Miles, John Bluthal, Maiwenn

Luc Besson’s follow-up to The Professional, The Fifth Element is a crazy cartoon of a movie. A wildly twisted sci-fi film, but I think it’s safe to say this movie is more a comedy than anything else, right? Like, with all the effects (so many effects!) and weird aliens and shooting and explosions, what do you really take away from this film? Ruby Rhod’s crazy cylindrical hairdo! How Gary Oldman’s Zorg’s head would sort of…leak black stuff? Former wrestler Tiny Lister playing the president! “Multipass!” It’s all pretty bonkers.

One of the five best sci-fi hairdos ever?

And it’s just terrifically entertaining. The fact that for decades the only significant English language films Besson made were The Fifth Element and The Professional (which share very few similarities, besides some light moments and Oldman) is pretty astounding. Besson would more recently make Lucy (a decent if forgettable hit) and Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (a colossal misfire, apparently aimed at the sect of the population who thought the Star Wars prequels were awesome [and shut up, I only like The Phantom Menace!]), but that’s about it, directing-wise. But what a great start! Continue reading →

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September 10, 2019 · 1:12 pm

The Set of 400: #257 – My Favorite Wall Climbing Musical Number

Today! Because what do you think I am? Dumb or something?

Singin’ in the Rain (1952)

Directed by Stanley Donen and Gene Kelly

Starring Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds, Donald O’Connor, Jean Hagen, Cyd Charisse, Millard Mitchell, Rita Moreno, Douglas Fowley, Kathleen Freeman, William Schallert (x3), Bobby Watson

The quintessential movie musical, Singin’ in the Rain is as damn near a perfect movie as was made in the 1950s, if you don’t mind all the singing and dancing. And as we’ve already covered, I’ve clearly got a thing for musicals – more of a thing than I previously knew existed in this bag of preferences and whims. The entirety of that decade only landed 14 movies on this list (if you include 1950, and not 1960 – decade rules, amiright?), which is one fewer than 1991 scored by itself, and that isn’t even the most honored year. Do I need to watch more films from the ’50s? Almost certainly. But also, did they just not make my kind of films in post-war America for a long time? Also probably true! Goddamn Eisenhower!

For movies and America in general, this was kind of a lousy time to be alive, no matter what shitbird Republicans would have you believe

And as much as I enjoy a good breaking-into-song-for-little-apparent-reason in my cinematic dramas, the 1950s style of musical is largely too sound-stagey and carbon copy for me. Oklahoma and The King and I and that sort are fine, but they never feel even remotely authentic. What works for Singin’ in the Rain is that it’s a movie about movies (my beloved sub-genre), so the sound-staginess of it doesn’t detract. It’s also a period film – set in the late ’20s at the advent of sound in motion pictures – so it has that added layer of movie studio phoniness to camouflage the seams a little more. Musicals are always going to be somewhat unnatural – the only hope with a movie musical is to make it feel less like you’re in a live theater. Cinematic verisimilitude is considerably different for musicals than for virtually any other type of film. Continue reading →

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September 9, 2019 · 1:13 pm

The Set of 400: #258 – My Favorite Ice Skating Date (Mixed Doubles)

Today! Because there’s only one creature capable of leaving a footprint that size –

King Kong (2005)

Directed by Peter Jackson (x2)

Starring Naomi Watts, Adrien Brody (x2), Jack Black (x4), Andy Serkis (x2), Thomas Kretschmann, Colin Hanks, Jamie Bell, Kyle Chandler (x3), Evan Parke, Lobo Chan, John Sumner, Craig Hall, Geraldine Brophy

I’m rarely going to criticize a film for being long. I might say it goes on a bit, or it has some slow parts, or it’s a tad long, but for the most part, I’m not easily bored. I worked at calendar stores in August and September during college – I know from boring. All that being said, I fully agree that Peter Jackson’s King Kong is obscenely too long. I feel like Jackson came down with a case of the J.K. Rowlings in 2005 – after a period of wild success, no one was willing to step up and reign them in, and say that perhaps these stories didn’t need to be 800 pages/three-plus hours long. And so, we have to wait forever for Kong to actually appear in this movie. It’s not like I don’t enjoy all the CGI bugs and whatnot, but somewhere along the way, a little nudge from the studio or somebody to be like “Is this really necessary?” would’ve gone a long way to alleviating our collective sore ass.

Seriously, Jesus, I could’ve lived without this in the memory

All that being said – and hell, it always needs to be mentioned with this film – King Kong is a terrific movie. I was never a huge fan of the 1933 original – I recognize it for the inventive, groundbreaking effects marvel it is, but come on, it’s a bit creaky by today’s standards – and saw the cheesy 1976 version a bunch as a kid, but never had a lingering affinity. So Kong was much like Godzilla, Mothra, Gamera, and the rest of the big, silly, rubber suit monsters of weekend afternoon television. It wasn’t serious entertainment. It was cheap nonsense with cardboard sets. Continue reading →

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September 6, 2019 · 1:15 pm

The Set of 400: #259 – My Favorite Un-Decapitation

Today! Because she has more lines than I do and she’s a goddamn mute!

Soapdish (1991)

Directed by Michael Hoffman

Starring Sally Field, Kevin Kline, Whoopi Goldberg (x3), Elisabeth Shue (x2), Robert Downey Jr. (x5), Cathy Moriarty, Teri Hatcher, Kathy Najimy, Garry Marshall (x2), Carrie Fisher, Costas Mandylor, Sheila Kelley, Ben Stein (x2), Willie Garson (x4), Leeza Gibbons, John Tesh

Another staple of early ’90s HBO, Soapdish isn’t the sort of film 12-year-old Joe routinely watched in those days, but it is a movie I routinely saw, given that I can still quote nearly the entire film. Like, I must’ve seen this movie multiple dozens of times. As I’ve mentioned before, this is a sub-genre I really gravitate to – movies about entertainment – so what if it’s about soap operas? The cast is incredible – six Oscar nominees, not to mention future Lois Lane Teri Hatcher, once and future Princess Leia Carrie Fisher, and a great TV exec precursor role to his TV exec role on Murphy Brown, former TV exec Garry Marshall.

It’s a show that got crazier as it aged, but Marshall’s Stan was a terrific late addition

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September 5, 2019 · 1:15 pm

The Set of 400: #260 – My Favorite Coffee Mug

Today! Because I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze –

The Usual Suspects (1995)

Directed by Bryan Singer (x2)

Starring Gabriel Byrne, Kevin Spacey, Chazz Palminteri, Stephen Baldwin, Kevin Pollak, Benicio Del Toro, Pete Postlethwaite, Giancarlo Esposito, Suzy Amis (x2), Dan Hedaya (x2), Clark Gregg, Louis Lombardi

A cast and crew simply bursting with purported monsters, The Usual Suspects is nonetheless an amazing movie, if you can get past its baggage. Dazzling, Oscar winning screenplay by apparent Tom Cruise captive Christopher McQuarrie (seriously, his resume over the last 15 years is almost exclusively writing and/or directing Cruise pictures), breakout movie for director Singer (accused of much, the most mild of which being on-set difficulty), and Oscar winning role from subsequent huge movie star Kevin Spacey (who did his level best to top Harvey Weinstein as Biggest Scumbag of 2017 – verdict still out, as of this writing! Who won? None of us, right?).

So with all that – not to mention fervent Trump supporter Stephen Baldwin – can you still wrap your arms around The Usual Suspects and praise it to the heavens like this was 1995? Again, in putting together this list, I’ve tried to be honest with myself. How much does actor/director off-screen drama affect my enjoyment of their films? And the answer is – probably some? Probably less than it should? I mean, I’m not going to run out and see a new Kevin Spacey film, but ones previously existing and beloved? Movies cement themselves for me basically when I first see them – my estimation might rise or fall over time, but that’s still based on film criteria almost exclusively. I might not agree with Clint Eastwood’s politics, but that doesn’t change how much I like In the Line of Fire, get me? I can stay out of my own way in that regard. Pretty much.

The 2012 RNC convention was equally as crazy as Every Which Way But Loose, I’m just saying

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September 4, 2019 · 1:15 pm

The Set of 400: #261 – My Favorite Viaduct

Today! Because I’ve got a waiting list of fifty people at that cemetery just dying to get in. But I like you and I’m gonna shove you in ahead of all of them –

The Cocoanuts (1929)

Directed by Robert Florey and Joseph Santley

Starring Groucho Marx, Chico Marx, Harpo Marx, Zeppo Marx, Margaret Dumont, Oscar Shaw, Mary Eaton, Cyril Ring, Kay Francis

The second oldest movie on this list, The Cocoanuts comes off as the worst, physically, due to the limitations of 1929 filmmaking. The advent of sound two years before afforded the Marx Brothers the chance to jump into motion pictures – too much of their comedy is wordplay to have functioned well in silents (And yet, their early lost silent short Humor Risk continues to fascinate with possibilities – if you’re harboring a copy, speak up!). However, the microphones in ’29 weren’t the greatest, so the movie does have an overall rickety feel that can be a bit distracting. Sopping wet papers are visible throughout the film, to dampen the crinkling being picked up by their super sensitive equipment, but that doesn’t help the other violent static and unintentional footstepping picked up. Also, technically, there is no known complete version of the film – what exists is a somewhat cobbled together assemblage of footage that runs fully seven minutes shorter than the purported original release.

There is still plenty of classic Marx Brothering going on

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September 3, 2019 · 1:23 pm

The Set of 400: #262 – My Favorite Scorpion and the Frog

Today! Because I can’t help it, it’s in my nature –

The Crying Game (1992)

Directed by Neil Jordan

Starring Stephen Rea, Miranda Richardson, Forest Whitaker (x3), Jaye Davidson, Adrian Dunbar, Jim Broadbent, Tony Slattery, Birdy Sweeney, Ralph Brown

Subject of the last good-to-great Boy George song, The Crying Game was a huge critical and word-of-mouth success in late ’92, leading to six Oscar nominations for the relatively new Miramax Films, and on everyone lips was the fact that this movie contained a mind-blowing twist. That was enough to interest thirteen year old Joe, I’ll tell you.

Now, the thing was, I didn’t see this movie until after the Oscars that year, so I full well knew the twist before seeing the film. I mean, Jaye Davidson was nominated for Best Supporting Actor – that kinda gives the whole game away. This wasn’t a Linda Hunt/Year of Living Dangerously situation. But I guess…I thought there was something else, maybe? Now realize, 1992 was squarely my launching point when it came to discovering there were good movies out there. As I think I’ve referenced before (in one of the previous five ’92 entries), this year is by far the most represented on this list, despite not being widely acclaimed as some great year in cinema. So maybe the twist wasn’t so important to me. Hell, I sat through Howard’s End as a 13-year-old, too, so maybe I was just willing to check out anything up for awards.

While an admirable movie, Howards End can be paint-dryingly dull (I’m not a huge fan of period British drawing room dramas, though)

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September 2, 2019 · 1:12 pm

The Set of 400: #263 – My Favorite King of the Swingers

Today! Because we’re a cracker jack brigade/On a pachyderm parade –

The Jungle Book (1967)

Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman

Starring Phil Harris, Louis Prima, Sterling Holloway, Sebastian Cabot, George Sanders, Bruce Reitherman, Clint Howard, J. Pat O’Malley

Based on Rudyard Kipling’s tales of crazy nonsense, The Jungle Book isn’t something I grew up with. I knew the characters from other Disney films and shows – so popular was this original film that the lack of logical sequels did not hold them back from reusing everybody, most notably Phil Harris’ Baloo straight playing Little John in Robin Hood and Baloo with the same name as a war pilot or something in Disney’s TaleSpin from the early ’90s.

Seriously, how did this happen?

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August 30, 2019 · 1:10 pm

The Set of 400: #264 – My Favorite Varsity Drag

Today! Because last time I was kissed in a garden it turned out rather awful –

The Ruling Class (1972)

Directed by Peter Medak

Starring Peter O’Toole, Arthur Lowe, William Mervyn, Coral Browne, Alastair Sim, Harry Andrews (x2), Michael Bryant, Carolyn Seymour, James Villiers, Graham Crowden, Nigel Green

A movie that stampeded into my life at a very opportune time, The Ruling Class was adapted by Peter Barnes from his play, but loses virtually none of the dialogue or general staginess, so I’d warn – if the live theater isn’t your cup of tea, this movie might not connect. They certainly try – the towering madness of Jack Gurney, the 14th Earl of Gurney, is mostly conveyed through Peter O’Toole acting his ass off, but there are some surprising hallucinations and visual digressions from reality that try to place us in his paranoid schizophrenic mind.

It might be a touch over the top in parts

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August 29, 2019 · 1:20 pm

The Set of 400: #265 – My Favorite Dora the Explorer Wristwatch

Today! Because I build neat stuff, got a great girl, occasionally save the world –

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Directed by Shane Black

Starring Robert Downey Jr. (x4), Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Kingsley (x2), Guy Pearce (x2), Don Cheadle, Jon Favreau (x3), Rebecca Hall, James Badge Dale, Paul Bettany, William Sadler, Miguel Ferrer, Dale Dickey, Stephanie Szostak, Mark Ruffalo (x2), Ty Simpkins

While there are probably more superhero movies on this list than one can be proud of, there isn’t a ton from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Most of the better ones simply aren’t eligible yet – even then, I’ve got some issues with the general overall direction of things, as I assume some people do these days. No? Just me?

The highlight of the series for me, still, are the Iron Man films, and basically the Iron Man/Tony Stark character. Thor took a long time to get interesting, Captain America has had good movies but by himself is just okay, The Hulk is great in short bursts but there’s a reason they haven’t tried a third big screen iteration yet – no, Tony Stark is the whole reason any of this works. It’s the deciding factor in choosing The Avengers over Justice League, very generally. (In fairness, I didn’t love Infinity War, and as of this writing none of that has been resolved. But I’m not watching DC movies anymore either, except the Wonder Womans I guess.)

Like, come on, when there’s another Spider-Man sequel already scheduled, I’m not all that upset about his “death”

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August 28, 2019 · 1:15 pm

The Set of 400: #266 – My Favorite Canine Cover-Up

Today! Because the new phone book’s here! The new phone book’s here!

The Jerk (1979)

Directed by Carl Reiner (x2)

Starring Steve Martin (x3), Bernadette Peters, Jackie Mason, M. Emmet Walsh, Catlin Adams, Mabel King, Richard Ward, Dick Anthony Williams, Bill Macy, Dick O’Neill, Carl Reiner (x2), William Schallert (x2), Carl Gottlieb (x3), Maurice Evans

In the first of four collaborations with Carl Reiner, and his first starring role in a film, Steve Martin broke from his tremendous run as a stand-up comic and legendary Saturday Night Live host to instantly become a giant movie star. His four minute bit in The Muppet Movie six months earlier shouldn’t be overlooked in his rapid progression to film glory, mind you, but The Jerk solidified it for good and all, famously starting the film with the statement “I was born a poor black child.” Continue reading →

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August 27, 2019 · 1:09 pm

The Set of 400: #267 – My Favorite Life on Mars

Today! Because I’m going to find it and I’m going to destroy it. I don’t know how yet –

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

Directed by Wes Anderson (x2)

Starring Bill Murray (x5), Owen Wilson (x2), Cate Blanchett (x2), Anjelica Huston (x2), Willem Dafoe (x2), Jeff Goldblum (x3), Bud Cort (x3), Michael Gambon, Noah Taylor, Waris Ahluwalia (x2), Seu Jorge, Seymour Cassel, Robyn Cohen

Look, I needed some time for it to grow on me, too. On the heels of the dynamite, breakout combo of Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums, Wes Anderson went all-in on the Wes Anderson-ness, and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou was born. And I think that most of the affectations people associate with Anderson (the ones that really seem to bother some people) came from this movie. Sure, Tenenbaums kicked it off – it has that epic plot, litany of movie stars, excruciating attention to detail which became standard – but I don’t think anyone knew this would become the template for all his movies going forward until Life Aquatic solidified it.

And in fairness to critics, this is the weakest of his big cast, wide ranging films (Darjeeling Limited is a much smaller movie in almost every regard, outside the road-trippiness). So when I first saw it, I couldn’t help but be somewhat disappointed, given the highs of his first films. But over time, I grew to appreciate all the mannered performances, the single-minded revenge plot, and the greatness of Bill Murray in a live-action Anderson film – something that, while it continues happening to the present day, doesn’t tend to occupy a large portion of screen time anymore. He cameos in Darjeeling, has a very brief role in The Grand Budapest Hotel, and gets slightly more to do in Moonrise Kingdom, but is still a relatively minor cog. And fair, you don’t want the same lead in all your movies – it’s been 15 years since Life Aquatic, maybe time for one last Oscar run for Bill in an Anderson flick?

Glorious

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August 26, 2019 · 1:21 pm

The Set of 400: #268 – My Favorite Red Pill

Today! Because you’re a plague and we are the cure –

The Matrix (1999)

Directed by the Wachowski Brothers

Starring Keanu Reeves (x2), Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss (x2), Hugo Weaving (x2), Joe Pantoliano (x2), Gloria Foster, Marcus Chong, Julian Arahanga, Matt Doran, Anthony Ray Parker, Belinda McClory

(How terrible looking is that foreign poster?! Woof!)

The movie A.J. Soprano gave his mother for her birthday, The Matrix is still something people watch and enjoy, right? I mean, it didn’t get parodied to death over the years, or become an enraging source of innovation for all that bullet time shit that permeated action films in the early ’00s, did it? It wasn’t completed ruined by those sequels – was it?

Gift genius, AJ Soprano!

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August 23, 2019 · 1:15 pm

The Set of 400: #269 – My Favorite Non-Scranton Scranton Cameo

Today! Because sometimes a bowler just has to face the music –

Kingpin (1996)

Directed by the Farrelly Brothers (x3)

Starring Woody Harrelson (x4), Randy Quaid (x2), Bill Murray (x4), Vanessa Angel, Chris Elliott, Willie Garson (x3), Googy Gress (x2), Lin Shaye, William Jordan, Prudence Wright Holmes, Richard Tyson, Zen Gesner

The Farrellys direct precursor to There’s Something About Mary, Kingpin is cut from very much the same cloth, with slightly lesser results. However! While I recognize it seems borderline insane that the four current Two-Timer directors are Alfred Hitchcock, Woody Allen, Paul Thomas Anderson, and the Farrelly Brothers, rest assured, this is their last appearance on the list. Dumb comedies are only gonna rise so high! Or are they?

No, I recognize Mary as the superior film, to be sure – I guess I just got a little tired of it, as it became this giant, omnipresent comedy two years later, endlessly referenced and pointed back to for years to come. And this largely swallowed Kingpin, a movie I much prefer for two big reasons – 1) the fact that Woody Harrelson’s broken bowler Roy Munson is so defeated by life that he ends up in Scranton, PA to start the film (Shoutout, hometown!) and 2) Bill Murray is beyond words amazing as the villain “Big Ern” Ernie McCracken. Like a lot of ’90s comedies, it’s pretty mean-spirited in retrospect – not just Big Ern being a complete asshole, but the movie’s general take on everybody – but I think it works better than some because there is a genuine relationship that forms between Munson and Randy Quaid’s backwards Amish bowler Ishmael, so that the overarching takeaway feeling from the film is positive, as opposed to pitiable.

Bowling pals!

But yes, Big Ern is the greatest

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