Recently, I ran across a darling little article on a website (n. website – it’s sort of like a video newspaper that doesn’t get smeary on your hands) about common mistakes the average working slob is making when compiling a resume. People working in an office/business/non-sex related capacity have become so used to management speak and phrasing that they were under the assumption that this is what those thick, troglodyte starched collars wanted to see on your menu of jobs and schools. Au contraire, amigo (multi-lingual-ality, it helps)!
But I felt the article left a number of things off. Not everyone is working in the corporate sector, punching the clock and not the boss, eating lunch at the same Subway every day, chatting about the same lousy local sports team, what the weather is supposed to be like Sunday, and “Oh I hope it doesn’t rain cause we’ve gotta head out to the suburbs to get that cheap produce,” and “I don’t know who’s going to be the next mayor, but they better fix this parking situation!” Nope, so not all resumes should or would contain the same trite bullshit. For every “Team player” and “Goal-oriented” they advised against, they missed equally as hackneyed and cloying terms. Here now, Knowingly Undersold’s Resume Guide of Don’ts! Continue reading