As Team Cetta continues to solicit for advice and bribes, the campaign itself has begun to develop and adjust its opinions on the issues of the day. I would like to announce first off that we’ve decided to alter the one concrete stance taken thus far and state that we are now unequivocally Pro-Clown. After some deep soul searching, plus the truckload of honking noses and unicycles generously donated to the warchest, we chose to support clown efforts worldwide, despite the villainy of the Joker.
Tag Archives: Clowns
The race for the 2016 Presidency is now well underway, and honestly, things could have started off better in Camp Cetta, that’s for damn sure. Thus far we’ve raised approximately squat to fund the campaign, making it hard to hire staff, and harder to afford bribes, plus we are yet to be approached by civic organizations, lobbyists, special interest groups, the mafia and/or a political party willing to endorse or even recognize our efforts. Our headquarters, currently located in the laundry room of our building, is still without so much as a banner, and our offer to appear on Hardball to discuss the issues of the future with Chris Matthews has gone unaccepted. Things are looking kinda bleak here on day five.
Nonetheless we press on. Despite our fiscal and masculine shortcomings, some events this past week showed promise for the long haul. The candidate (me) pressed the flesh while strolling past the Sheffield Garden Walk, but accidentally, as I didn’t negotiate the sidewalk well and went hands first into a group of DePaul students, who were not appreciative of my mauling. I then chose to pass up actually entering the event, as I felt the cover charge for such a thing was, in so many words, “egregious.” (The actual word used was more colorful and related to feces) Continue reading