Today! Because I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture, and kill them –
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Directed by Stanley Kubrick (x4)
Starring Matthew Modine (x2), Vincent D’Onofrio (x4), R. Lee Ermey (x4), Adam Baldwin (x2), Arliss Howard (x2), Dorian Harewood, Ed O’Ross (x2), Kevyn Major Howard, John Terry
Stanley Kubrick hadn’t released a film since 1980’s The Shining when Full Metal Jacket finally hit theaters in the summer of ’87, so you know seven-year-old Joe was first in line, eschewing the likes of Harry and the Hendersons, Dragnet, and Benji the Hunted at the General Cinema. Little did I know that this film would inspire one of the great thinkers of our time, Luther Campbell, to later pen the now immortal ode to love and lust “Me So Horny,” and become an icon for free speech in the process. Nope, soon-to-be third grader Joe was just reveling in the blanket party and ubiquitous vulgarity, not even questioning if ten dollars was a good price for a Vietnamese hooker.
No, come on, I didn’t see Full Metal Jacket in theaters when I was seven! What do you think, my parents were monsters? They cut me off from renting R-rated movies after the whole Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors fiasco, so they certainly weren’t going to take me to see Private Pyle’s murderous bathroom breakdown, no matter what a Barry Lyndon fan I might have been in those days!