Tag Archives: Scandal

Speech to the Shareholders at the Annual Meeting

The transcript of the annual May & Muhn Manufacturing Company stockholders meeting, May 3rd, 2008:

The meeting will come to order.  Would everyone please be seated?  Please?  Come on, the bagel cart will still be there when I’m done.  Oh, it won’t?  Well anyway, welcome, shareholders, I’m glad to see so many of you made the effort to be here today.  I’m surprised, actually, I didn’t know you’d find the place.  My assistant accidentally put the wrong address on the invites, I’m sure you noticed, haha.  It said we’d be in Springfield, Massachusetts, but you still found your way here, to Illinois.  How industrious of you all.

I’m sure you’re all wondering after the well being of the board of directors.  Rest assured, they are being treated very well, and can finally receive visitors and spend up to an hour a day in the yard.  Their interrogation went on longer than expected before they fessed up to their alleged crimes, and now they are being fed human food and are in the general population up in Joliet.  So that’s good news, huh? Continue reading

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