Today’s French Lesson

private-french-lessonsCulled from a variety of apps and websites designed to help you learn a new language, here were my valiant stabs at French today:

Please translate into French:

The spider is drinking some wine.

Me: What the hell?


The spider is drinking some wine.

Me: Jeez. Um.

*Typing* L’ariagnee boit du vin.


L’ariagnée boit du vin. Please pay attention to accents.

Me: Christ. Okay.

Please type in French:

(something that sounds like) El vu lou

Me: Huh?


El vu lou

Me: She something water. She something water. She sees water? She wants water? Oh, she wants water.

*Typing* Elle veux l’eau.


Elle veut l’eau. Please pay attention to verb tense.

Me: Balls.

Please translate into English:

Je veux être comme ma femme.

Me: (pause) Wait a minute. Je veux is “I want.” Être, “to be.” Something, “my wife.” “I want to be my wife”? “I want to be like my wife”? Seriously?

*Looks around for wife, assuming she has somehow hacked this website*

*Typing* I want to be like my wife.


voulgariVocabulary – Boissons (Drinks)

Me: Oh, good. That’s handy.

Le verre – Glass

Me: Verre.

La tasse – Cup

Me: Tasse.

La vendange – Grape Harvest

Me: …

 Le millésime – Vintage

Me: Jesus, the difficulty really jumped up here, huh?

Le parc – Park

Me: Oh, good.

L’herbe – Grass

Me: Kinda makes sense.

Le bac à sable – Sandpit

Me: Sandpit?! I still can’t say “left” or “right”!

L’avis de risque aux voyageurs – Travel warning

Me: Okay, that’s ridiculous.

Please translate into French:

Me: Oh, back to this, huh?

The lion is eating the elephant.

Me: Gah!

*Typing* Le lion mange l’éléphant.


Me: Pretty grim lesson, for me and the elephant.

Please translate into French:

The stupid boy is reading a book.

Me: Wow. French lessons are mean.

*Typing* Le garçon bête lit un livre

Correct! We would also accept Le garçon stupide lit un livre.

Me: Thanks.

Please translate into French:

The ugly girl is dying alone.

Me: You know what, we’re leaving for France tomorrow, if I don’t know it at this point I don’t know it!


Filed under humor, Internet, Technology

2 responses to “Today’s French Lesson

  1. Great post. Enjoy your trip!

  2. Jennifer Schellinger

    Tres amusant! Have a bon voyage and eat much fromage for me.

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