Believe it or not, I’ve found there are certain employment opportunities out there that I’m not suited for. Whether you know me or not, this should come as no surprise. Rare is the person who can just step into any temp agency and qualify for the whole board of available listings. So, with that in mind, here is a list I’ve compiled of 300 jobs, titles, and positions that I am extremely unlikely to ever have in this lifetime. Of course, feel free to add to it, as this is a remarkably brief list, considering the guy in question:
1. Baker Street Irregular
2. Donkey puncher
3. Fluffer
4. Ghostbuster
5. Assistant to the Regional Manager
6. Head Writer for Two and a Half Men
7. Lead Phlebotomist at Geisinger in Danville
8. Sous Chef
9. Patron saint of mediocrities
10. Designated Hitter for the Cincinnati Reds
11. Beer Vendor at Ebbets Field
12. Dean of Admissions at the Sorbonne
13. Office of the Exchequer clerk
14. Miss Teen U.S.A.
15. Center for the Charlotte Hornets
16. Captain X-Ray Specs
17. Longshoreman on Lake Scranton
18. Understudy for the Monster – Young Frankenstein on Broadway
19. Rubik’s Cube champion
20. Crystal manufacturer at Folger’s Continue reading
Knowingly Undersold 